Stand By Me

I’ve been thinking a lot about connection lately.

Nope…  We were absolutely not built to play this game of life alone.

This version of the song “Stand By Me” always leaves me singing and in a good mood.

It’s not just the lyrics.  The logistics and connections that it took to create it are inspiring. The pure joyful energy in the music says so much more than the words.  The voices around the world, singing the same song of love, support and connection, are so powerful.

Enjoy…
Oh… and will you stand by me?  : )
I’ll stand by you anytime!

How Connection Can Increase Your Capacity for Joy

“No one can play a game alone.  One cannot be human by oneself.”
- James P. Carse, Finite and Infinite Games

Amen.

Connection is Martha Beck’s 9^th menu item on The Joy Diet.  This chapter, no matter how many times I read it, is the one that moves me the most.

Real soul-deep connection with others is frightening, yet counter-intuitively the most effective way to remain secure.

On the down side, allowing love to flow unconditionally will guarantee that you will be hurt.  But, as Martha points out, “as long as you never react by cutting off your willingness to love, you will always – always – emerge from these situations with more capacity for joy than you took into them.”

Due to the downside, I was afraid of this type of connection for a long, long time.  My belief (even though I didn’t consciously realize it) was that food was the “safe” friend and a connection to better feelings.

What a lie.

For a fleeting second, I would feel better by eating the chocolate hidden in the sock drawer.  Then I would berate myself for succumbing to unhealthy habits.  I was no more a friend to myself than the food was.

Then I went on The Joy Diet. I began to sit still with myself, listen to the truth about how I felt and take risks to get what I really wanted.

ALL of that meant building a real connection with myself first.  Connecting over and over…  move forward, second guess, trust in the connection with my soul, laugh, move forward…

And in that cycle, I got it.

The magic happens when you connect with your inner peace AND with others at the same time.

Unconditional love lives in this place.  It’s where you are fully present, inwardly truthful about what you want and then take the risk to openly communicate about it in your relationships.

I had a client e-mail me today with a gorgeous, sweet example of how you can’t help but be totally in love with someone else when you’re fully present with your own soul.

…this morning, as annoyed as I was that my daughter woke up super early and totally killed my alone time, I stayed present with the joy of having someone so incredibly happy to see me and snuggle with me every day.    Laughter and joy indeed.

There’s an old saying about connection that goes something like this… “There’s a ripple effect in all that we do. What you do touches me. What I do touches you.”

If there’s going to be a ripple effect… by golly, I want to feel it.  In the center of the ripple can be the calm, the connection to everyone else.  The rings can spread the energy you and I bring to the table.

The energy doesn’t always have to be generated from life changing movement and cliff jumping risks.  It can be as sweet and peaceful as a snuggle with a child when she’s taken the unknown risk of interrupting your best laid plans.

Love that.