Not the “I’d sure like chocolate AND vanilla” kind of desire.  Instead, it’s your heart’s desire.  The desire that shows up when life takes you by the hand and leads you toward your destiny.

“Sounds easy enough, doesn’t it? Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it… Any sentient being knows when it wants to eat, mate, run, sleep, or fight – any sentient being, that is, except most members of the human race. We are the only beasts in creation who systematically eradicate the knowledge of our own desire.”                – Martha Beck, The Joy Diet

So get comfortable in your moment of doing Nothing (menu item #1) and open yourself up to being truthful (menu item #2).  Then search around for a pebble of desire.  Once you find one, sit with it and visualize what it would be like to meet it.  Try and feel if it’s on the path to your destiny.

To illustrate, let’s explore the number one spoken desire of my clients: 

“I want to lose weight.”

In a state of complete compassion and truth, and without judgment, visualize yourself and your life at your ideal weight.  What is it about being lighter that you would enjoy?  Would your doctor be pleased?  Are you finally happy in your own skin?  If the time consuming obsession over food and your body ended, how would you spend that time differently?

While inquisitively sitting in your vision, you might begin to see pieces of your true destiny.  You might also see some pieces that are less authentic, possibly false, but part of the story. 

The below chart is from The Joy Diet (modified slightly for this example).  Continue to hold the “I want to lose weight” desire in your mind and see which column best describes your vision now and down the road.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight to impress friends that you haven’t seen in twenty years at a class reunion.  The point is… if that’s the ONLY reason why losing weight is on your wish list, it will result in deprivation dieting, obsessing over food, inevitable overindulgence and the despair that whole downward spiral seems to bring.  

The spoken desire of “I want to lose weight” acted out as if it’s the only answer to your happiness almost always ends up with false desire after-effects. 

Here’s the good news:
There’s a bit of magic when it comes to following your true desire and losing weight.

Action upon your TRUE heart’s desires comes coupled with a desire to relax into your own body’s rhythm and to treat yourself with ultimate self care and love.  This will lead to a sense of fulfillment in your life.   It eliminates the need get full-fillment from food. 

That’s the place we call “thinner peace.”

What true desire will bring you to this place?
Next week we’ll get creative (menu item #4) about getting there.

In Martha Beck’s The Joy Diet, absorbing a new truth about yourself is the second item on the menu.  The idea is to compassionately check in with your life.  Is there anything that you’re hiding from yourself or others that is keeping you from experiencing full time joy?

Truth digging is most effective on the heels of doing your daily 10 to 15 minutes of Nothing.  On Friday, I went through Martha’s six suggested questions with a touch of a temper and a side of Excedrin.

“What am I feeling?”

Like a giant pain in the neck.  Literally.   I’m also fidgety and unfocused.

“What hurts?”

I told you… my neck!  It’s a crick on the left side, coupled with a headache.

“What is the painful story I’m telling?”

If I were focused, I’d be able to tell a story.  There’s just pain.  No story. I haven’t had a crick in my neck like this since leaving my old j.o.b. back in January.  Now I remember how I used to feel on Monday mornings. 

Fascinating.

I had agreed to step back into that life for a few hours that day to help them with a project. 

While I was not spinning painful stories in my conscious mind, my body kicked in to tell me the truth.  I’ve looked back occasionally wondering what would have been different if I had stayed.  Now I know.  I really didn’t want to go back there.  I felt like I was about to waste a day of my life walking the wrong path. 

“Can I be sure my painful story is true?”

No.  No experience is a waste. 

 “Is my painful story working?”

No. If I think it will be a waste, it will be a waste.  What a waste that would be!  And my neck hurts.

“Can I think of another story that might work better?”

First observation:  I do not feel compelled to eat my way through this like I would have a year ago.  I love this coaching stuff.  It, like, works.

Second observation:  I left that job when I came to a fork in the road where the corporate world path and the one toward my destiny split.  I made the right choice.  My neck just told me so. 

As I drove away from that office building Friday afternoon, my headache died away and the tension in my neck eased.  Amazing what a good dose of Nothing and a teaspoon of Truth will do to turn a subconsciously wasted day into one of gratitude and thanksgiving. 

I’ve been practicing this (almost) every day and never seem to run out of food for thought.  As a result, I have new friends, a new career, have lost weight and have emptied at a ton of clutter from my mind and home.  In other words… the truth will set you free and, quite possibly, turn your life upside down.

Next week we’ll add Desire to the mix.  I mean, if you’re going to turn your life upside down, it should certainly be for something you desire!  Right!?

Until then, I’d love to hear about ways you uncover your truth.

The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life.

In the introduction, Martha writes:

“If you’re looking for ways to shed that potbelly or firm your buttocks, I’m afraid you’ll have to look elsewhere. As far as I’m concerned, your belly and buttocks are absolutely magnificent right now, not that I want you to send me photographs. This book contains instructions for a different kind of ‘diet,’ one designed not for the body but for the soul.”

While Martha is one of my mentors, and smarter than I’ll ever pretend to be, I have to respectfully disagree with one of her statements.  (Not that you aren’t magnificent.  Of course you are!  And, no, I don’t want pictures either.)

I believe this is the exact diet you DO need if food is your drug of choice to soothe your emotions.  Not only to shed pounds, but to keep them off permanently.  Once you have learned to nourish your soul, your body will naturally follow to that lighter place of “thinner peace.”   She is right that The Joy Diet is not a traditional “eat less, move more” instruction manual, but it’s funny how this works…

The practice of embracing Joy more leads to embracing Ben & Jerry’s less.

Here’s the run-down of the chapters.  We’ll cover one chapter each week.

• Nothing
• Truth
• Desire
• Creativity
• Risk
• Treats
• Play
• Laughter
• Connection
• Feasting

“Nothing” is my new favorite past time.  “Nothing” was the subject of this recent blog post!  Click here  : )

“Nothing” is also the key to tuning into your internal wisdom and developing the skill to trust your body. Your body knows what is best for you in terms of how to go about shedding those extra pounds.  To hear what it’s saying, though, you have to be still and willing.  To some of my clients, this is a really new concept.  It was for me when I started doing this work.  Doing Nothing will get you in tune with the voice of your body and soul.

Grab a copy and read along.  Only one chapter a week.  It will definitely help lighten your mental load.  It wouldn’t surprise me a bit if you lightened your physical load too.

* Jamie Ridler, who is hosting this blog fest, says that “The concept behind book blogging is that a group of bloggers work their way through a book, sharing their experiences by posting on their own blog and by reading what other participants are sharing. You can choose to share as much or as little as you like. The process is free, self-directed and shared in community.”

The journal from the last post was written when I didn’t know whether I wanted to be a life coach, or if I just needed one.    I was also reading Martha Beck’s The Joy Diet.  Instead of simply reading it, I decided to do something revolutionary.  I would actually DO the exercises as suggested.

Chapter One is entitled “Nothing.” 

Go ahead.  Laugh. 

The book I finally decide to DO starts out with a chapter about doing nothing.  When you are done laughing, we’ll resume…

Doing nothing for ten to fifteen minutes a day is a life changer. 

While some people call this meditation or mindfulness, I called it wasted time at first.  I could physically sit still, but my thoughts were like the incessant chatter of a hyper child.  This was frustrating until I surrendered my control over the chatter (which, I of course, never really had).  I watched my thoughts come and go and compassionately allowed myself to address them later. 

When I stopped resisting, I fell asleep.  Instead of wasted time, doing nothing became a nap.

Right there was my first lesson.  I was over working and under sleeping.

Finally, I got to the point where I could simply sit for fifteen minutes, watching my thoughts, until they slowed to the point where I could hear and feel my soul.  Whatever you believe is your higher power (I call mine God), this is the time when I can hear Him most clearly.

This is the place where I realized that I could trust my own internal wisdom.

This is the place where I sensed a true joy and peacefulness behind the war in my brain around food and my weight.

This is the place that knew when I figured out the secret to permanent weight loss that I wanted to pay it forward and help others find freedom from the fight.

This is the place that harbors your own internal wisdom.

Trust in it.

I highly recommend doing nothing for a while and see.

This is when magic happens and the synchronicities of life will blow you away.

Up next is the last post (for now) in this series:  When Your Essential Self Speaks… Watch for the Magic.

Until then:

What does your essential self have to say when you are still?