A Diet For Your Soul

Through a string of Twitter synchronicities, I stumbled upon a group of bloggers who are book blogging* through Martha Beck’s The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life.
Being that this is one of my all time favorite books, I couldn’t resist jumping in.

In the introduction, Martha writes:

“If you’re looking for ways to shed that potbelly or firm your buttocks, I’m afraid you’ll have to look elsewhere. As far as I’m concerned, your belly and buttocks are absolutely magnificent right now, not that I want you to send me photographs. This book contains instructions for a different kind of ‘diet,’ one designed not for the body but for the soul.”

While Martha is one of my mentors, and smarter than I’ll ever pretend to be, I have to respectfully disagree with one of her statements.  (Not that you aren’t magnificent.  Of course you are!  And, no, I don’t want pictures either.)

I believe this is the exact diet you DO need if food is your drug of choice to soothe your emotions.  Not only to shed pounds, but to keep them off permanently.  Once you have learned to nourish your soul, your body will naturally follow to that lighter place of “thinner peace.”   She is right that The Joy Diet is not a traditional “eat less, move more” instruction manual, but it’s funny how this works…

The practice of embracing Joy more leads to embracing Ben & Jerry’s less.

Here’s the run-down of the chapters.  We’ll cover one chapter each week.

• Nothing
• Truth
• Desire
• Creativity
• Risk
• Treats
• Play
• Laughter
• Connection
• Feasting

“Nothing” is my new favorite past time.  “Nothing” was the subject of this recent blog post!  Click here  : )

“Nothing” is also the key to tuning into your internal wisdom and developing the skill to trust your body. Your body knows what is best for you in terms of how to go about shedding those extra pounds.  To hear what it’s saying, though, you have to be still and willing.  To some of my clients, this is a really new concept.  It was for me when I started doing this work.  Doing Nothing will get you in tune with the voice of your body and soul.

Grab a copy and read along.  Only one chapter a week.  It will definitely help lighten your mental load.  It wouldn’t surprise me a bit if you lightened your physical load too.

* Jamie Ridler, who is hosting this blog fest, says that “The concept behind book blogging is that a group of bloggers work their way through a book, sharing their experiences by posting on their own blog and by reading what other participants are sharing. You can choose to share as much or as little as you like. The process is free, self-directed and shared in community.”

Chat With God

Have you ever been stumped?

One of my jobs as a coach is to help clients get unstuck.  In short, being a coach is like being a personal trainer for your mind and soul.  I am trained to help with the “heavy lifting” when a client’s brain is engaged in some serious mental shifting.  This includes creating new and better feeling thoughts to replace limiting beliefs that are holding them back.  We call these Turnarounds.

But what happens when the coach gets stumped?

One day, I had a client ask me this over e-mail:

“Where does Christ fit in this work?” and  “Do you fit Christ into your coaching practice?”

I was, honestly, at a loss.

I know how God fits.  I’m a coach due to what I sense He is calling me to be.  I’m working with clients who want to gain peace and lose weight because that’s been my struggle and I sense He knows that teaching others is part of the path to wellness.  It also brings me great joy, which is a total clue that He and I are on the same page.

On the flip side, I consider myself more spiritual than religious.  I have participated in a handful of Bible studies, but do not quote scripture and will never claim to be a Biblical scholar.  I talk with clients from my heart and not a book.  Suddenly, I did not feel equipped to answer how the printed words of Christ came to play in my practice.

I looked at my Bible and admitted to needing some “heavy lifting” help at the moment and went for a walk to chat with God about it.

I often walk out the door with a question and return with a multiple choice list of answers.  Not this time.  God did not speak from the treetops.  So I went back inside and surrendered to doing the best I could without pretending to be something that I wasn’t.

This e-mail was waiting at the top of my inbox.

____________________________________________________________

Subject:  CHAT WITH GOD
To:  Jennifer Voss

I thank you for being you!

HANDY LITTLE CHART – GOD HAS A POSITIVE ANSWER:
YOU SAY  vs. GOD SAYS BIBLE VERSES

You say:  ’It’s impossible’
God says:   All things are possible.  (Luke 18:27)

You say:  ’I'm too tired’
God says:  I will give you rest.  (Matthew 11:28-30)

You say:  ’Nobody really loves me’
God says:  I love you.  (John 3:16 & John 3:34 )

You say:  ’I can’t go on’
God says:  My grace is sufficient.  (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say:  ’I can’t figure things out’
God says:  I will direct your steps.  (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say:  ’I can’t do it’
God says:  You can do all things.  (Philippians 4:13)

You say:  ’I'm not able’
God says:  I am able.  (II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: ‘It’s not worth it’
God says:  It will be worth it.  (Romans 8:28)

You say:  ’I can’t forgive myself’
God says:  I Forgive you.  (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say:  ’I can’t manage’
God says:  I will supply all your needs.  (Philippians 4:19)

You say:  ’I'm afraid’
God says:  I have not given you a spirit of fear.  (II Timothy 1:7)

You say:  ’I'm always worried and frustrated’
God says:  Cast all your cares on ME .  (I Peter 5:7)

You say:  ’I'm not smart enough’
God says:  I give you wisdom.  (I Corinthians 1:30)

You say:  ’I feel all alone’
God says:  I will never leave you or forsake you.  (Hebrews 13:5)

PASS THIS ON.   YOU NEVER KNOW WHO MAY BE IN NEED.

____________________________________________________________

Freaky, huh?

Okay.  Yes.  It’s one of those chain-mail-pass-this-on-to-your-entire-inbox things.  But I was struck dumbfounded by the synchronicity of it.  I picture Him smiling down saying “How’s that for some heavy lifting?”

So… to answer my client’s questions:

“Where does Christ fit in this work?”
He’s the Grand Master Turnaround Artist for those who look to Him to find peace and freedom from their limiting beliefs.

“Do you fit Christ into your coaching practice?”
Yep.  I don’t quote scripture, but I do lean on Him for some heavy lifting.  He occasionally steps in to help formulate e-mail responses to this line of questioning.

It also sums up very nicely the heart of getting to the place of “un-stumped.”

• Move away from the stuck place so you can see the big picture.
• Surrender to doing your personal best and knowing that it’s enough.
• Never try and be something that you’re not.
• Most of your roadblocks are due to your thinking.  Thoughts can be changed.
• Ask for assistance with the heavy lifting.
• Sometimes a higher power will step in to help you.

I will not ask that you forward this to your closest friends and relatives in order to receive abundant wealth in 24 hours.  If you feel inclined to pass it along, though, please feel free to do so.  I would be honored and I’m sure He would be too.

When Your Essential Self Speaks – Watch for the Magic

I don’t claim to know much… but this I know for sure:
When I started doing nothing on a daily basis, magic started happening.
This is the story of some magic.

I was noodling on the idea of enrolling in Martha Beck’s life coach training.  This wasn’t just partaking in a self improvement class.  This was career changing, snow globe escaping consideration.  On frequent flier miles and a knee jerk, I signed up for her Steering by Starlight seminar held in Phoenix last May.  The idea was to experience her energy in person and let my intuition decide.

One morning prior to this trip, I asked the Universe to give me some clues. 
Ask and ye shall receive.

Journal entry:  April 30, 2008
Holy cow!  I just listened to a recording of Martha coaching and her client might as well have been me.  Paraphrased quote from Martha:  “Can I see that my ‘job’ and being in that state of perpetual stress will kill me?   That is not making a living… it’s making a dying.”

The closer the Phoenix trip gets, the more unspoken questions are just “answered.”  The answer appears in a magazine, book, MP3, e-mail, through a friend… or from that small voice… like magic.  Listening to Martha coach brought me to tears.  Not only because she addressed head-on some of my fears, but because it sounds like freedom.

Journal entry:  May 2, 2008
* Turned on the radio and Let It Fade was playing:  “Let this old life crumble, let it fade…”

* Picked up The Joy Diet and opened to the chapter on “Risks.”  The rule is that the risk has to scare the pants off of you.

*Picked up my coffee cup and this was staring at me:  “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?”

* E-mail popped up with this subject line:  “It’s Time to Break Free.”  The content meant nothing… but the subject line freaked me out.

* Quote on calendar page for the day:  “To some will come a time when change itself is beauty, if not heaven.”  – Edwin Arlington Robinson

* At work:  We were working through a settlement with a tough customer.  Last week, in a bit of exasperation I blurted:  “If we ever get this done, I’m quitting while I’m ahead.”  Today, they paid us an unsolicited lump sum that cleared their entire past due balance.  Their explanation is that they are going through a system upgrade and wanted to finalize their balance?  Most customers will use this as a reason to NOT pay.  Maybe I do need to quit while I’m ahead?

Journal entry:  May 7, 2008
Clergy column in our church messenger had this Bob Dylan quote:  “You are either busy being born or busy dying.”

Journal entry:  May 11, 2008
The song that kicked off our Sunday worship service was entitled “Break Free.”

Journal entry:  May 13, 2008
Received an unrelated e-mail from a friend and this was at the bottom:

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow.  God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”  
-  Matthew 6:34

I must have stopped journaling at this point… but the magic hasn’t stopped. 

The trip to Phoenix brought about dreams that resolved and stopped recurring dreams I’ve had since college.  Beautiful and peaceful dreams.

I enrolled in coach training.  How could I not?  The freakishly synchronistic encounters and events only enhanced my faith that there is a higher power at work in our lives.  And that higher power was talking to me loud and clear… especially when I least expected to hear from it… and in my sleep.

By October, the questions revolved around not if, but when, I wanted to become a full time coach.   

• Should I resign from my day job in December and hit the ground running with the New Year? 
• Or wait until the spring after I was eligible for certification and had three more weeks of paid vacation in the hopper? 
• Was it even wise to leave my steady job when the economy was tanking?

I was pondering all of this while picking up some lunch-to-go and saw the new “Skirt” magazine on the racks.  Jokingly, and to divert attention away from my internal bantering, I asked:  “OK, Skirt, what do you have to say?  Wait for spring or not?”

Here’s what the cover said:

“Have you bloomed lately? …  Don’t wait for spring to shed the comforter of inertia that keeps you asleep in the bud, the permafrost of habit that keeps you stuck in a no-growth zone.  Stop wishing – start working. Quit waiting – start groundbreaking.  What’s the story you’re waiting to be, the Super Power you’ve been hiding, the seed you haven’t watered, the calling you’ve put on hold, the forgiveness you’ve withheld, the next step you haven’t taken?  There’s a Wild Flower in you waiting to blossom… A stargazer lily with sky-high dreams.”

I kid you not.  I almost dropped my salad in the parking lot.

Anyone not familiar with Martha Beck’s Steering by Starlight should know that the book is all about finding your path to your own North Star and following it through the eyes of your inner Stargazer.

I did not wait for spring.   And then the message of it all became downright freaky.

Two weeks after I resigned from that “safe” job, the “stable” company imploded.  It is possible that I would still be employed, collecting money, dealing with liquidation and listening to bankruptcy lawyers.  But it would be the antithesis of authentic and certainly not joy filled. 

Your intuition can tell you when it’s time to change.  Synchronicities and God moments are everywhere if you are open to seeing them.  Freedom is having the ability to change on your own terms even when it’s hard.

The real bonus lesson: 
When Your Essential Self Speaks… Consider She Knows Something You Don’t

Ask the Universe, watch for the synchronicities and trust. 
I’d love to hear about your magic.

When Your Essential Self Speaks…

Have you ever started to do something and then get distracted?  An hour (or three) passes and you can’t remember what you were planning to do in the first place?  That just happened.  I’ve learned to trust my essential self when she wants to chase rabbits, so I’m getting used to it.  

After sitting down to write, I stumbled across some documents off of my old work computer. Instead of writing, I started cleaning them out.  Of course, that means I now have no idea what I was going to write about an hour ago, but I found something SO much better!  To my surprise, one of the documents is a short journal from last spring.  This is surprising for three reasons:  

1. I didn’t journal back then. 
2. I had completely forgotten about it. 
3. I have been trying to come up with the best way to illustrate how following your intuition can change your life.  Hello?!  I’ve just lived through an epic tale of what happens when you blindly follow embrace intuitive hunches and walk in faith.  This journal is from the beginning of that journey. 

So, I chased a rabbit… and here is born a new blog series on intuition, synchronicities and life lessons… with some weight loss tips thrown in for good measure.   Pieces of the journal will be used to illustrate how a state of stuck can be dislodged by listening to your essential self speak.

When Your Essential Self Speaks…

Intuition is one of the methods your essential self uses to speak.  Your brain might not have yet wrapped a logical reason around why you feel icky around a certain person or excited when you walk into a certain place, but your essential self knows.  Your intuition can clue you into the things and people that serve you well or that drain you before you get a chance to rationally understand why.  It is also your overall guide to the path you were born to follow. 

When Your Essential Self Speaks… Chase the Rabbit.

Come to think of it… Chase it with no regret. 

Chasing rabbits is a term I’ve used for years in reference to following intuitive hunches.  Following your intuition (a real rabbit) is much different than procrastinating or moving toward socially acceptable goals for the sake of fulfilling desires of the ego (a fake rabbit). 

The trick is to know which rabbits are real and which ones are just pulling your leg.   I will admit that I’ve been in the company of greyhounds chasing fake rabbits on many occasions, but the more I listen to my intuition, the clearer the difference between the real and the stuffed shirt rabbit becomes. 

What if you realize the rabbit is a sham mid-chase? 

Stop.  Pause to soak in the lessons learned and then move on. 

Corey Ciocchetti is a professor of business law and ethics at the University of Denver and author of the book Real Rabbits: Chasing An Authentic Life.  He wrote a great blog post about Cash, the greyhound, who realized one day that the rabbit he was chasing was fake and, without remorse, stopped racing.  He poses a great fundamental question:  “Do you chase real rabbits?  If not, what do you chase and why?” 

If, upon pondering, you realize one of your rabbits is full of fluff, he makes this great point:  “The great thing about life… is that the road to lasting, authentic success contains many on-ramps. Although we have chased fake rabbits in the past, we can move towards authentic success in a split second.”

Notice that neither Corey nor I said to throw a pity party in regret for time and energy wasted and emotionally eat yourself into a stuffed state of numbness.  What I believe he is saying (and what  I am suggesting) is that you put down the cookie and simply stop the sham.  Feel your emotions, count your blessings, and then find a new passion, hobby or career that feels real.   Tune in to your intuition and find the next exit. 

What if you catch the rabbit, keep it as a pet (job, partner, college major) for a while, then realize ten days or ten years later that it no longer makes you happy? 

Like Kenny Rogers says:  “You gotta know when to hold ‘em; know when to fold ‘em; know when to walk away; know when to run.” 

Your essential self knows the minute when that “used-to-be-perfect” situation no longer serves you well.  It knows how, what, why and when… the trick is to trust your gut and listen to the whisper of your intuition.  The sooner you look at your desire to change in the eye… the more quickly you can make peace with it, devise an exit strategy and part ways.

Admittedly, this scenario might carry a bit more emotional and literal baggage than realizing the rabbit was fake before you snared it.  Therefore, this is where we’ll pick up in the next post… and where the journal comes in:

When Your Essential Self Speaks… Don’t Freak Out

Until then, listen to your intuition.  You never know what you’re going to find:  A new opportunity, a lost sweater button or a journal that reminds you of how stuck you were and how far you’ve come.  One thing is for sure, you will be closer to your essential self than when you started.

What rabbits have you chased lately?